Overwhelming, exhausting, unbelievable, surreal. I'm not really sure which word best describes me right now. After my father passed away at the end of February my world has been spinning. I won't say it's been spinning out of control, just spinning. Lots of general searching, lots questions and lots of inner soul searching. On top of all of this my mothers health has been deteriorating quickly as well. We planned a "Sister Trip" with my Mom to the Bahamas. What a gift that would turn out to be. My mother has had to fight for everything all of her life. She raised 6, yes 6...beautiful, wise, intelligent, cute and funny (that part is for me LOL)children in her 72 years of life. On Maundy Thursday, April 1st, April Fools Day...whichever phrase best describes it; my Mother finally surrendered. No more fighting, no more. Absolutely indescribable. I am simply numb. My Mother has taught me so many things in my life. Life is about the fight. Give it all you got. I don't have much more, I feel like I've been punched in the gut and the wind knocked out of me. But I know somehow I will fumble my way back up. It's just human nature. I am not there yet, not even close. If I could, I would just curl up and sleep my days away. I miss her so much already. But, I can't. I am in awe of the life surrounding me. My girls simply amaze me. Seriously. I know every parent says this, but have you really taken the time to just watch them in action? Amazing. Those 2 little angels keep me going right now. They make me smile, they make me sad, they make me mad, they make me feel like I am alive. They are doing more than I could ever imagine. They are doing what they are supposed to. I will do the same in my own time, I'm just not sure what time that will be yet. Stick by me and give me some encouragement. I know I'm not alone but this is rough stuff. I'm too young to lose my Mother and my Father in such short period of time. I don't get to make those choices. I will always need my Momma. Always.